I used to visit a friend of mine who had a couple children the same age as mine as well as a couple older children. When her teens and their friends populated the house, I felt very ill at east.
What was that about? I wondered. I had once been a teenager, I liked kids, why did I feel so uncomfortable around teenagers?
There are actually a couple of reasons for this.
For any parent, the teen years are considered to be stressful, and a study evaluating the environment surrounding those who regularly live with teens, those who did reported a greater degree of stress.
I recently did some research into learning and brain wave activity. Interestingly enough, very young children reside more in the theta and alpha brain wave stages. This makes sense as they learn things at a greatly accelerated rate when they are young. At around fourteen, they join the rest of the adult world by entering the beta brain wave state for most of their waking hours. Perhaps this is one reason.
Research by the Harvard School of Public Health has found that those who spend time living with one or more teens experiences stress. Part of the problem, according to one mother, is that she knows what lies ahead for her child and despite her best intentions in telling him, he refuses to listen.
Sometimes parents have to step back and let their teens make mistakes and hope that the mistake doesn’t result in a life-changing result. Parents find that by talking with parents of other teens helps to give a sense of commonality. To know that others experience the same things that you do makes you feel less alone.
Teens are on the verge of being an adult, but they still revert back to being a child throwing a tantrum. They are a package of hormones and emotions masquerading as an adult. Our job as parents is to watch as they ride along that rollercoaster. They might want us to join, but that is entirely your choice.
The bad news is that almost every child goes through their teen years experience at least some degree of angst. The good news is that most of them survive to become adults themselves.